On Milestones
25 newsletters, impostor syndrome, and celebrating anyway!
Dear reader,
Welcome to Poetry in Motion #25! I want to dedicate it to Rohini Kejriwal of The Alipore Post. Her work introduced me to newsletters, pulled me through many days at deadend jobs, kickstarted my love of curation, and showed me the wonder of what a simple idea can do. She’s celebrating 10 years of her work, so go subscribe!
Years ago, under the shade of several trees, I sat with my best friend and all of his childhood friends. We ordered burgers, and some of them smoked cigarettes, and I was just eager to sit in and listen to what their lives had been.
Most of them were in their late twenties or early thirties, so I asked them my favourite question: “If you met your 21 year old self now, what would you tell them?”
One of them laughed out loud. He recounted a story of a job interview, right out of college, where recruiters asked him how he sees his life in five years. He responded by boasting about his future collection of Ferraris, and his hillside mansion in Lonavala. He didn’t get the job.
“I would tell them to relax. Focus on the work first. Keep your dreams big, but focus on the work. Don’t be so caught up in the idea of success that you lose the bravery to build your own form of it.”
I still remember this conversation like it happened yesterday.
Now, I’m not great at celebrating milestones. I used to be - and somewhere along the way, my ambition and ideas of what success looks like ballooned. They twisted around expectations, and warped themselves into being both ridiculously attainable and highly revered.
To put it mildly, I discovered I’ve been fighting impostor syndrome for years. Recently, while putting together my portfolio, I had this crushing feeling that none of it mattered. I didn’t have a Maserati lying around, or my own apartment, or chunky pay checks at a glossy job. No, instead I decided to spend the first half of my twenties building communities and painting pictures and hosting pandemic book clubs. I enjoyed it, and I still do - but the tangible measures of ‘success’ never seemed to show up. So naturally, I Googled the hell out of this feeling and discovered one key habit to halt all of these thoughts.
Celebrating small wins.
For example, this month, I got much more hands-on with my finances- an area where I’ve been avoidant. So I switched my phone off for an entire day, and spent that day catching up on my reading, painting a good hot chocolate, and listening to the rain fall softly outside. That one little gift, coupled with intention to celebrate - revived me.
No longer did I need to solve global warming, or broker international deals, or become Beyoncé herself - I could just take a step forward and give myself a gold star.
And then it was like my mind became crystal clear: not only did I get hands-on with this, I’ve also hit some major wins when it comes to writing! Twenty five letters on here, one year of hosting my local writer’s salon, maybe I’m not such a fraud after all! Maybe, everything is actually beautiful and we have lots of time, and there are still so many incredible people and places to love in the world.
Sometimes, the poetry you find in life is as simple as a single rhyme.
So relax. Keep your dreams big, but remember you’ll only get there when you have the steps for it. Do the work. We’re going to be okay.
I hope you find something to celebrate this week,
Kaav.
Agreed😍