On Messing Up
Self-help, being young, and what's beneath it all.
Dear reader,
This week I messed up at work. Some might say it was a small error - but I learned that one error in a text message can quickly turn into 2 hours of passive aggressive displays of superiority. It’s been a very uncomfortable couple of months, so this was the thing that tipped me over the edge - and I ended up writing this after a good ol’ cry, some cuddles with my dog, and a hot cup of black tea.
In case it’s not clear: I tend to overthink quite a bit.
So when I mess up, the shame of making a mistake along with my perfectionist tendencies swell up into the perfect storm. More often than not, I feel like I might as well just run myself into the ground.
Obviously, this is less than ideal, so I’ve been trying to listen to Mark Twain’s advice:
Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions.
When you’re 24, the most irritating feeling is knowing that the Thing that stands between you and Success ™️ is just the fact that you haven’t lived enough yet. You have to be curious, and be patient with just wherever the curiosity takes you.
So what helps turn the mistake into a happy little accident? Usually, it’s two folders on my laptop. One is the Encouragement Folder, and the other is my Rejection Folder. The first one is a collection of notes from readers, friends, and family that puts my purpose back into place. The second is a little digital museum of all the things I’ve tried to do.
Preaching aside, here are some other links that help when in a mess:
This video game trailer. An Instagram account that actually adds to your peace. Oprah. This book about balancing spiritual practice and running a business.
And my personal favourite: a writing exercise called 7 Layers of Why.
How it works:
Write down any limiting belief you have.
Then ask yourself: why?
Write down your answer.
Repeat steps 2 & 3 six more times.
Proceed to be amazed and deeply moved with what you realise.
As always, if you liked this newsletter: share it with a friend (or ten)!
Sending you kindness through the muck,
Kaav.